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Funny how my goals have changed

Posted by brya31 on Wednesday, August 11, 2010

When I started out playing the fiddle almost 2.5 years ago, my goal was to be good enough to play in a band.  I practiced every and I mean every night for 2 years.  I felt almost like I put pressure on myself to practice everynight, I would ignore prescious time that I could be spending with my family just to make sure that I got my fiddle time in.  The last couple months I decided that I cannot continue to do that.   I make sure I spend much of my spare time giving my kids and wife the attention they deserve and have not gotten for 2 years.  I still practice on average 4 to 5 times a week, but its 30 minutes at a time, not 1-2 hours.  I am very satisfied with what I have done and I have no intentions of ever giving up the fiddle, but now I am very happy to be just good enough to play at the local jam session and to play in front of friends and family.  I also look forward to playing with my daughter.  She is now learning the flute and my gut tells me she will eventually want to play the fiddle with her ole dad.  I suppose when the kids are grown and out of the home I will probably have so much alone time I will want to play the fiddle much more like I was,  but for now, I am very satisfied spending as much time as I can creating good memories for my family and not just focusing on my own fiddle journey.

14 comments on “Funny how my goals have changed”

Cyndy Says:
Wednesday, August 11, 2010 @4:50:50 AM

Wise words, I think. Honored to count you as one of my fiddle friends.

brya31 Says:
Wednesday, August 11, 2010 @8:35:06 AM

Thanks Cyndy! I am Honored to count you as a friend also. : )

dimbercena Says:
Wednesday, August 11, 2010 @10:08:37 AM

I feel VERY much like you. I never want to stop playing and I hope to just be able to play at Jams or for friends and family. I put a lot of time in too and have it to give right now but I think those are wise words to enjoy all the things you have. Well said!

Swing Says:
Wednesday, August 11, 2010 @11:34:01 AM

brya31.. family is the best thing we have and if you can involve your youngsters in music you will have the best band around. They grow up much to fast and you wil be still playing when they have gone off on thier own...and besides, your daughter will be better than you in a couple of years.

Play Happy

mudbug Says:
Wednesday, August 11, 2010 @1:02:44 PM

Always a wise investment, to spend time enjoying the family, but what about getting up before anyone else, and practice while everyone else is sleeping?

brya31 Says:
Wednesday, August 11, 2010 @2:09:17 PM

Mudbug....I go to work at 430 am everyday...hehehe I dont think I will be playing the fiddle at 330am Swing you are sooo right, LOL

bj Says:
Wednesday, August 11, 2010 @2:17:42 PM

Though I do agree that your family time is important, I think you're maybe not seeing something-- how good an example you set for your kids. You decided to learn to play, you put in consistent time (which is exactly what it takes!) and you didn't give up no matter how discouraged you got.

That is an INCREDIBLE lesson you've taught your kids! You'll see the results of that over and over and over.

Humbled by this instrument Says:
Wednesday, August 11, 2010 @2:37:46 PM

Or...if you can get the rest interested in the local BG festival, the OT jam, etc., then wow! My son is still wearing the wrist band from the Father's Day festival months ago. He tells all his friends about it still, how Infamous Stringdusters ROCKED, etc. Now he's playing guitar all the time. We join my other bandmates to go see concerts etc. Then, when the music becomes part of the family, well...then you play fiddle AND spend time with the family. But you've the right idea, mindset. Good luck, Rob.

carlb Says:
Wednesday, August 11, 2010 @3:02:30 PM

Sounds good to me. Family time is extremely important. Keep up your fiddling, though.

BC Says:
Wednesday, August 11, 2010 @6:01:23 PM

Seems like yesterday, but I would find our youngest son under the endtable hiding when it was time for bed. I would put him to bed and either read to him or strum guitar to try to get him to fall asleep. Thank God I didn't sing! Now he's 6'2" and is heading to college in 2 weeks. Bittersweet . Like Swing and others have said, time goes by fast. Too fast. You're a great dad.

Ozarkian DL Says:
Thursday, August 12, 2010 @4:21:04 PM

Changing your goals to match your life, is better than changing your life to match your goals. Many lives derail following the latter. Your priorieties are straight. You're on tha right track. Full steam ahead. Toot-Toot.

Percy Says:
Saturday, August 28, 2010 @4:07:14 AM

I've gone down very much the same road, but perhaps in a more intense fashion. I used to get up at 4 am every morning and practice for 4 hours before work... and on weekends -- I would sometimes practice for 8 hours or more. I did miss some quality time with my husband and he was getting a bit annoyed but was still supportive.

Now I've changed things up a bit. I get up at early but not AS early and I usually get in about an hour before work -- and then a couple hours a day on weekends.

I know this means that my progress over the next few years won't be as dramatic. But it's a trade-off.

And I do think the first few years are the most important. That's when you are bulding that muscle memory and trying to coordinate left and right hand, wrist and elbow movements.There's a lot going on and I think it takes intense practice to understand what's happening.

The basics are in my hands, ears and head now. So from here on out, it's about refining and adding...

If I was going to become a concert violinist, I would have to sacrifice marriage and life to achieve that. But I'm an old woman and there are limits to what I can achieve in the time I have left.

So just like you, I'm taking a bit of pressure off myself and am going to try to put more joy into it -- not that I haven't enjoyed the ride so far. But now I'm going to concentrate on learning new tunes, getting out and playing with others and so on... I'll still do my exercises each day, but I'll just make more room in my life -- for life itself.

eerohero Says:
Friday, September 3, 2010 @2:48:54 PM

so much good stuff here ! Fiddlings are just a part of Life, theres so much else to it, Im glad you opened your eyes....Ive done the same misstake so many times, not only ones.Keep yourself inspired , having a balanced life , maybe adding a Guitar as a another instrument in your collection and getting started to sing with the Family in Harmonies.

Is there a greater pleasure ? well, some females are acclaiming that shopping is....who knows, I` ve never tried.

eerohero Says:
Saturday, September 4, 2010 @9:57:42 PM

I forgot to add a couple of things on this reply above, its not so important how many tunes you can play, some people have a couple hundred tunes ,which they practice daily and cant play any of them , more than struggling away with them badly.

It works better with very few tunes at the time, and really mastering them, before new ones coming around,I got so many hours of playings wasted this way and so many others has done the same.

Im very glad for your discovery, today I have 5 tunes , which I master, the rest is just for Fun, guitar and harmony singings with the Friends and Family will fill the Gap at Performances and playings at Gatherings.
Theres no need to master 200 songs. BTW ,I go up at 4 o`clock at mornings also,one hour fiddle and then hauling folks to Emergency with Taxi

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