Have you ever felt that local musicians may seem to be avoiding you? making you feel left out? ..not part of and 'clique'? You want to be included but can't seem to make the proper connections?
When I lived in L.A. and had probably five jams a week I could go to, I simply went to the ones that most coincided with my style and skill level. In other words, maybe two or three.
So far, my genius has gone unrecognized and unrewarded.
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Originally posted by Old ScratchSo far, my genius has gone unrecognized and unrewarded.
..can't fool us here on the Hangout. We genius' have to stick together.. As for ME, I've been asked to Not play with some of the greatest string bands....
The late Mac Davis, "Lord it's hard to be humble." Playing in my mind. Lol
"I never get lonely, cuz I treasure my own company."
Seriously, I don't expect to be anything, down in the basement. But hey, it's my basement. Not my mom's. Thumbs-up!
Around here we have a lot of OT fiddlers. I’ve found that demonstrating that I can do a passable or better job at OT “grunt work “ (guitar or bass) means I can jam with those who are much better than I am about as often as I want to.
One's performance level should be at least equal to (or better than) the group that is the object of desired admission. Or be so sociable, no one minds you being around. As the most un-sociable SOB around, I aim for the former.
Maybe you can find a nice AI generated friend to play with.
I'm never alone, with the LoopMaker5000. Slices and dices, makes Julian fries! Then I yell up from the basement, to the DW, "Hey, who's the best fiddler in this basement?" Have you ever heard somebody shaking their head?
Edited by - farmerjones on 05/12/2025 14:23:26
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Originally posted by TuneWeaverHave you ever felt that local musicians may seem to be avoiding you? making you feel left out? ..not part of and 'clique'? You want to be included but can't seem to make the proper connections?
This sort of implies that there is a well defined group of "local musicians", and that you're either in or you're out. My issues have been more the subgroups and dynamics within the "local musicians" or overall demographics. By subgroups I mean things like groups of retirees, people who play in a band together, people who live in a certain part of town, people who are of different abilities (professional/semi-pro/pretty good/newbie), and to a certain extent groups of females or males.
For example, even though I know a lot of local musicians, not a single person can play a favorite tune of mine that I must have played for 20 years. I don't know a single guitar player within a 100 miles who (1) isn't already or in a band, (2) is interested in playing traditional music general and (3) is interested in playing with me in particular.
So although I'm well connected and included, I need to connect with some additional musicians. Now, if I switched genres to C&W or Blues or Bluegrass or Rock&Roll there would be a much bigger community. But I'm not good enough to make the switch.
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Originally posted by farmerjonesI'm never alone, with the LoopMaker5000. Slices and dices, makes Julian fries! Then I yell up from the basement, to the DW, "Hey, who's the best fiddler in this basement?" Have you ever heard somebody shaking their head?
I often say to myself that I'm the best fiddler who ever lived in my house.
The funny part is it's not necessarily true. The house I live in was built by a professional musician. I'm forgetting his last name so I can't look it up. I'm sure his primary instrument was guitar. But I think he also played some fiddle.
So to be sure I say that I'm the best fiddler in this house in this millenium!
Oh, how I lament!... I tried to get Google Gemini to help me get involved with tunes. She directed me to a Celtic music site and then proceeded to tell me that 'we have to quit meeting like this."...the ultimate rejection. I'm shattered.. My only saving 'grace' is that at the local monthly OT Jam last night I suggested and got to play "Boys, them buzzards are flying"..... All is good..
Gemini is a little young, you need to find someone who knows a thing or two.
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Originally posted by ChickenManGemini is a little young, you need to find someone who knows a thing or two.
We are a match.. I know almost Nothing!!!
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Originally posted by TuneWeaverHave you ever felt that local musicians may seem to be avoiding you? making you feel left out? ..not part of and 'clique'? You want to be included but can't seem to make the proper connections?
Never quite got the exclusivity, "clique" thing, yearned to be part of one... but reminds of Groucho quote... "I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member.”
FOMO? I don't much worry about either. I figure probably understandable reason for exclusion; mostly I'm just not a good fit for that group/event (I don't really worry about trying to fit in). Have found enough folks that I am a good fit.
That said, not exclusion, but have felt not included at times; but not that I wouldn't have been welcome good fit... just due to some of the communication; I just didn't get the word, possibly I didn't come to mind, or didn't put effort think to make sure I knew, figured I am connected enough to hear. Some of this seems more with getting word out, some change with modern online technology, staying connected with various groups of folks; started with group emails, multiple lists and get updated. Similar now with group texts, or other chat discussion group app. And of course social media like Facebook, is the go to for many folks... they might assume everyone always check that and will know about that way. I might find out later, and get asked by someone "where were you, why didn't show up?"
Of course some in/out of the loop degree of my control... making connections, staying current, in the loop, social connected, being active and out there enough in that community, maintaining relationships. I don't really keep up with social media thing. Besides that is showing up person to where musician community are, such as where some friends gig; as social function and show support. But in past few years (esp since Covid), I just don't get out like I used to; settled more into my natural introverted tendencies; part is don't really like loud, big groups, parties, bars, (esp keeping up with younger crowd); ... just like comfort of my home, at times effort of even putting on pants, getting in car an going to things across town 
.
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Originally posted by TuneWeaverHave you ever felt that local musicians may seem to be avoiding you? making you feel left out? ..not part of and 'clique'? You want to be included but can't seem to make the proper connections?
....Then bye the book..."How to win friends and influence people"...Available at all good book shops....just use the code "PETE" at the checkout....
Sorry, i should have posted this under "Classified" i also endorse "Sea Monkeys"
Edited by - pete_fiddle on 05/14/2025 12:29:53
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Originally posted by pete_fiddlequote:
Originally posted by TuneWeaverHave you ever felt that local musicians may seem to be avoiding you? making you feel left out? ..not part of and 'clique'? You want to be included but can't seem to make the proper connections?
....Then bye the book..."How to win friends and influence people"...Available at all good book shops....just use the code "PETE" at the checkout....
Sorry, i should have posted this under "Classified" i also endorse "Sea Monkeys"
Good ones Pete..
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Originally posted by TuneWeaverquote:
Originally posted by ChickenManGemini is a little young, you need to find someone who knows a thing or two.
We are a match.. I know almost Nothing!!!
But that's why you need someone who knows a thing or two, at least about old time music, which is not to be confused with that old time rock and roll.
Well I can't seem to fit in much myself, Lee...but I don't understand why anyone could make you feel unwelcome! Not fair! But in my own case I've found someone who actually WANTS to jam with me, plus he is lending me an instrument and teaching me to play his style.
With what little time I have for music...now I play heavy metal electric guitar with my grandson, who is teaching me...lol. Sounds crazy, hey? But we have fun when we can.
Hoping I didn't send my FHO friends into shock with the above post...lol. If anybody would have suggested, even a month ago, that here I'd be, busy with unexpected tasks during an unexpected lifestyle thrown at me that sucks all my time away from music...that I'd be using up what little time I can get by learning heavy metal on an electric guitar...lol...well it's a jiving-with-the-grandson thing. Meanwhile, I get a message from a friend who has been living in Hawaii for years...his granddaughter wants to learn clawhammer and wondering if I could help with some beginning clawhammer YouTube hints for her to learn by. So...Ok...it's time for the boomer's grandkids to pick up their instruments, I guess...I'm all for that, whatever instrument, whatever style. But clawhammer has a place in my heart that I'll never say no to...and so do any friends or strangers who want me to try to help them get going with making their own music...so...yes...I will do it. I have only an iPhone to work with...but I will do my best to wrangle some time away for it, prop up the phone, and try to do what I can to help her get going on her own. So...yeah...here's the grandkids generation...so I'm learning heavy metal guitar from one, and trying my best to help with clawhammering with another...hope that generation does discover the gift of pure happiness that getting to know a musical instrument will bring into their entire lives.
