Ok, maybe I just have too much time at the moment, but the topic on AI and writing lyrics made me wondering if I would be able to come up with a ballad in a language that is not mine.
Not sure if this would work in a fiddle context though :-p It would really rock if I could hear an example of how it might sound in a fiddle context , but I don't think an AI band would succeed to bring it the way it sounds in my head!
Ok, so here we go:
Bed Of Nails – The ballad of a fakir and his wife
There once were two souls where the deep creek bends,
Who slept on a bed made of iron and ends.
They spoke not in words but in shimmer and wave,
Carving their names on the breath of the brave.
From far-off islands to snow-covered pines,
They whispered their spells and tangled the lines.
With lightning in hand and the storm in their chest,
They'd ride the old hum where the sleepless don't rest.
One day he had won his right — by fire and form —
To speak past the wall of the weather-worn storm.
He had earned his high perch by a letter and seal,
A pass through the veil of copper and steel.
And so it was his lady who truly could fly —
Her spells broke the quiet, turned night into sky.
She could shatter the dark with one single breath,
Leaving the village in a silent death’s breath.
The storm was their compass, the waves were their guide,
And the hiss of the air their place to confide.
With threads like snakes and a whisper of flame,
They’d call to the stars, and the stars knew their name.
They were gifted a satchel with the mark of the beast,
And fragments of sound from the land in the east.
They whispered the winds and the words that would slip,
Learning the tongues that their dreams could not grip.
She would sit with her hands on the wires and wait,
While echoes of time would pull open the gate.
She’d murmur a name that was lost in the mist,
Sending her breath to the fog that still kissed.
But not all that whispers is gentle or kind —
And the hammer that followed turned the deaf to the blind.
It pecked through the air with a sharp, metal curse,
And all who had spoken fell under its verse.
It was a bird crying out with a terrible sound,
And all went to silence when it circled around.
When the hammer would tap on the bones of the sky,
Even their own spirits were too still to fly.
One night came a boy with a box made by hand,
Who whispered a test to the breath of their land.
His very first call crossed six thousand in flight,
Till it knocked on their gate in the depth of the night.
He doubted the thread he had cast through the dark,
Till they answered in kind with a sign and a mark.
A seal inked in silence, a whisper in code—
From a place where the dark meets the shimmered-down road.
Their voices reached out through the frost and the sand,
From towers unseen in this quiet, small land.
And each new dusk it was raining echoes in turn—
From jungles, from deserts and oceans that churn.
She’d never been caught for the storms that she brought,
But she knew how to leave when the danger was caught.
They learned through the trials of fox and the hounds,
To disappear into silence when no trace was found.
And no map ever found the roads they still know,
They followed the hum where the cold winds would blow.
They spoke to the edge, to the sand and the snow,
To hearts that they would never be destined to know.
So ride that black whisper that rolls through the pines,
Past thunder and twilight and old twisted lines.
Where the night never settles and silence inhales,
You’ll find them still hoping from their bed made of nails.
Feel free to add your thoughts!
Too many words for most songs I'd sit through lol. It is very AI and seems like a heavy metal song, with it's mark of the beast and other images.
Heavy metal hahaha.
It does contain a story of real life events from a far past that I ran through chatGPT - but not going to explain.
I tried before to run some chapters of children's book I was writing through ChatGPT, but whatever I tried ChatGPT would constantly turn the initial sinister atmosphere into some very hippie woke ending. When I dared to protest the program gave me a preach about why it could not fullfill my request.
If I could resume my experience with trying to create lyrcis I'd say ChatGPT is likely to bring up something very carnivalesque.
I dare others to do the same :-p
Edited by - Quincy on 04/13/2025 09:10:57
quote:
Originally posted by QuincyHeavy metal hahaha.
It does contain a story of real life events from a far past that I ran through chatGPT - but not going to explain.
I tried before to run some chapters of children's book I was writing through ChatGPT, but whatever I tried ChatGPT would constantly turn the initial sinister atmosphere into some very hippie woke ending. When I dared to protest the program gave me a preach about why it could not fullfill my request.
If I could resume my experience with trying to create lyrcis I'd say ChatGPT is likely to bring up something very carnivalesque.
I dare others to do the same :-p
No one wants to be lectured or preached to by ChatGPT 
I’m sure that the story that formed the basis for the lyrics made some sense, but these lyrics don’t make any. They do follow a smooth rhythm scheme and the rhymes work, but the verses don’t work and there doesn’t seem to be an arc to the story. Lyrics can be less focused on story arc if they describe an atmosphere or sentiment instead, but these lyrics are so full of mixed metaphors and ideas that they don’t really mean anything if you analyze them.
Nonsense songs can be enjoyable, but they have a much different feel and intention, and this song seems like it's trying to be serious and brooding or foreboding, but it doesn't work as intended.
Edited by - The Violin Beautiful on 04/14/2025 10:58:32
Hehe thanks Rich for your analysis as an English speaker ;-)
Anyway , I do not fear at all that AI will ever be able to replace the touch of a human hand.
I recently found some AI music in Afrikaans, but it did not feel like the real stuff at all, it lacked the soul and spirit that can be found in human made songs in Afrikaans. AI Afrikaans sounds like it has been robbed of certain elements that to me - as an outsider- seem essential , like that funny , creative and same time heartwarming use of compound nouns.
hmmm. i followed the story quite easily. it's not bad at all and reminiscent of appalachian and english ballads. with a slight heavy metal tinge, but the older ballads are like that
not sure this is the best page for ballad critique... (in my experience american fiddlers dont like ballads...bluegrass musicians dislike them even more)
reminds of tom of bedlam in a way.
For to see Mad Tom of Bedlam
Ten thousand miles I traveled
Mad Maudlin goes on dirty toes
For to save her shoes from gravel.
Chorus after every verse:
Still I sing bonny boys, bonny mad boys
Bedlam boys are bonny
For they all go bare and they live by the air
And they want no drink or money.
I now repent that ever
Poor Tom was so disdain-ed
My wits are lost since him I crossed
Which makes me thus go chained
I went down to Satan's kitchen
For to get me food one morning
And there I got souls piping hot
All on the spit a-turning
There I took up a caldron
Where boiled ten thousand harlots
Though full of flame I drank the same
To the health of all such varlets
My staff has murdered giants
My bag a long knife carries
For to cut mince pies from children's thighs
And feed them to the fairies
The spirits white as lightening
Would on me travels guide me
The stars would shake and the moon would quake
Whenever they espied me
No gypsy, slut or doxy
Shall win my mad Tom from me
I'll weep all night, with stars I'll fight
The fray shall well become me
And when that I'll be murdering
The Man in the Moon to the powder
His staff I'll break, his dog I'll shake
And there'll howl no demon louder
So drink to Tom of Bedlam
Go fill the seas in barrels
I'll drink it all, well brewed with gall
And maudlin drunk I'll quarrel
For to see Mad Tom of Bedlam
Ten thousand years I have traveled
Mad Maudlin goes on dirty toes
For to save her shoes from gravel.
quote:
Originally posted by The Violin BeautifulI’m sure that the story that formed the basis for the lyrics made some sense, but these lyrics don’t make any. They do follow a smooth rhythm scheme and the rhymes work, but the verses don’t work and there doesn’t seem to be an arc to the story. Lyrics can be less focused on story arc if they describe an atmosphere or sentiment instead, but these lyrics are so full of mixed metaphors and ideas that they don’t really mean anything if you analyze them.
Nonsense songs can be enjoyable, but they have a much different feel and intention, and this song seems like it's trying to be serious and brooding or foreboding, but it doesn't work as intended.
This is why I initially said it seemed "very AI" because it is overly wordy and though each verse seems to have an idea, the expression of it is convoluted and vague. "Tom of Bedlam" is more concise and has a basic familiar rhyme scheme. It's what makes writing a modern ballad tricky - making it sound and feel like it fits in with these classics.
ChatGPT might be able to adjust Anja's verses into a classic rhyme meter, but I'm not sure how the prompting works having never used it or even seen where one can access it.
ChatGPT was constantly bragging about how it sounded like a true traditional ballad and all when asked what it thought about the different versions I tried before finally picking this one :-p
chatgpt.com/
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