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Oct 3, 2023 - 3:16:02 AM

Quincy

Belgium

878 posts since 1/16/2021

Last Wednesday I received an e-mail asking if we could meet on Wednesday the 4th instead of Tuesday the 3rd, so I mailed back Wednesday the 4th would be perfect. I got his sort code and bank account number and transferred the money on Friday in the afternoon. I mailed on Friday to ask if he recevied my payment. Then I mailed again yesterday asking if everything was allright and if he received the payment, because he did not mail me back.

So far I haven't heard from him. Tomorrow, on my birthday , my very first old time fiddle class was about to take place.

I remember when I was just a beginner and when my violin teacher advised me to search for a fiddle instructor, I had e-mail contact with a fiddler that I admired, but also this man suddenly stopped mailing and I never heard from him again.

The band I was first playing with thought I was slowing them down , the band I found afterwards and who responded enthousiast on my question in a local group just did not respond, although they said sure take contact with us then we can meet, the moment I did that it was like I was talking to ghosts.

I really am losing my trust in people here. The only thing I want is to learn how to play but it seems like the universe does not want me to.

I feel rejected (again) unwanted disappointed and alone.
I feel like quitting now.

Oct 3, 2023 - 3:40:31 AM
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RichJ

USA

968 posts since 8/6/2013

Anja -I sure hope there has been some kind of electronic glitch preventing that "teacher" from making contact with you. But, sadly there are many scam artists cruising the internet. You have an inner drive to play OT music, along with many of us here on FHO. Don't let a bad experience take that desire away from you. You still have plenty of friends here.

Oct 3, 2023 - 4:01:51 AM
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Quincy

Belgium

878 posts since 1/16/2021

Ooph Rich,  It worked I got a message but late, classes can go on!!! Payment arrived yay.

Really I felt like this was going to be a failure again but thank god he is for real.

And yes I live sometimes with big feelings, see my post ... luckily my mood changes as quick as it can appear lol. I suddenly feel very excited again ;-D

Edited by - Quincy on 10/03/2023 04:04:22

Oct 3, 2023 - 4:33:34 AM
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14921 posts since 9/23/2009

Anja...I'm glad that turned out good. I'm like you...stuff like that deflates me really fast, happy things make me happy really fast. And, by the way...Happy Birthday! What a great way to spend your birthday. Mine is very close to yours. I don't tell it anywhere on the net because of all the scammers and dishonest people wanting to get someone gullible into trouble. I've always been very trusting and believe me, I'm sad to say it has hurt me more than helped me. I keep losing my faith in humanity. Trying to keep on believing that humans are good creatures, but I'm just about done believing it for the most part. Anyway, I was getting kinda concerned with your first post but feeling uplifted after the next one. I hope you have a wonderful birthday and fiddle lesson.

Oct 3, 2023 - 4:56:40 AM
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146 posts since 9/4/2007

A couple of thoughts here. I know you mentioned in an original post that you had to work out payments that didn't fit credit cards or some other typical options, so my comments might not apply. But, for what it's worth; on the internet I have found it best to go with strongly recommended folks and conventional pay methods, like PayPal and Visa.

By strongly recommended I mean, recommended by a LOT of people. For instance David Bragger gets a lot of comments and I know some local folks who have done online studies with him so I would trust that source. I am sure there are others like him.

Also, in regards to PayPal and Visa, they have protections that are built into their systems that have protected me and recovered money that I thought was gone. Has only happened about twice, but both times the scam was halted. Luckily haven't had one in a long time.

That all said, I'm glad that you're contacts worked out and have fun with the lessons.

Oct 3, 2023 - 5:01:51 AM
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11457 posts since 3/19/2009

Glad it worked out.. If the instructor was one you named earlier ...a person I know...I'd have been REEEAALL disappointed in him...

Oct 3, 2023 - 11:41:37 AM

doryman

USA

596 posts since 2/10/2020

Hi Anja. I hope I don't kick a hornet's nest here, but I do want to say to not take this personally. I've generally found that music teachers seem to be a disorganized lot (although piano teachers seem to be the exception). This is especially true for those "teachers" who are trying to make a living as a musician (very difficult), where writing, performing, selling and producing music is the priority...not teaching lessons. They have 1000 balls in the air and students are not the priority if a gig comes up. Also, many of these students are just young folks, perhaps in college and, again, teaching lessons is not the priority. Finally, and this will get me in the most trouble I think, some artists/teachers are just unique personalities, almost by definition. Things like schedules and regular communication are foreign to them.

Over the last ten years I've hired, or tried to hire, many music instructors for my children. I've never has such trouble, compared to any other professional for hire, such as an electrician or plumber, with regards to keeping a regular schedule or committing to a schedule or meeting.  Additionally, the turnover is high. It is the nature of the beast. 

Edited by - doryman on 10/03/2023 11:43:35

Oct 3, 2023 - 10:02:14 PM
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Quincy

Belgium

878 posts since 1/16/2021

quote:
Originally posted by groundhogpeggy

Anja...I'm glad that turned out good. I'm like you...stuff like that deflates me really fast, happy things make me happy really fast. And, by the way...Happy Birthday! What a great way to spend your birthday. Mine is very close to yours. I don't tell it anywhere on the net because of all the scammers and dishonest people wanting to get someone gullible into trouble. I've always been very trusting and believe me, I'm sad to say it has hurt me more than helped me. I keep losing my faith in humanity. Trying to keep on believing that humans are good creatures, but I'm just about done believing it for the most part. Anyway, I was getting kinda concerned with your first post but feeling uplifted after the next one. I hope you have a wonderful birthday and fiddle lesson.


Thanks for your understanding. People are a bit crazy around me lately. During night shift for example someone hit my parked car and drove away , I post this in a local facebook group and certainly out of the blue a woman starts: 'I see you got racing edition rims on your car and you say you are a telephonist, I bet you were driving and using your telephone the same time and caused the accident yourself!' Before I knew I got stalked and threatened by complete strangers in my inbox accusing me. Good thing that it is not too easy to threaten someone who in the first place fears nothing  or noone in particular haha. Some people have gone completely nuts in this fast changing world. I try to give myself stability with a good dog to train and keep me company and tunes to study on my violin. It keeps me  sane.

 

Thanks for the birthday wishes! I am going to start the day soon with a nice walk, because it is also World Animal Day.

Edited by - Quincy on 10/03/2023 22:04:47

Oct 4, 2023 - 3:25:32 AM

14921 posts since 9/23/2009

Wow...sounds like you're world is like ours. Insane neighbos harassing us and threatening us, insane relatives threatening us if we sell a house that belongs to us ... like...gee whiz, can't we all just live and let live? Everybody going around threatening everybody else. The world has gone nuts. Hang in there. Have a great World Animal Day!

Oct 4, 2023 - 9:28:45 AM
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Quincy

Belgium

878 posts since 1/16/2021

There is hope Peggy, I had a first mantrailing class last week with the dog and was suprised to meet all like minded dog crazy people with their dogs. As I mentioned to our trainer ; '"this must have been the most social thing I did since a very long time!'"

And today I had a very nice and revealing first fiddle lesson also :-)

Maybe the art truly is to find people who just are interested by the same stuff!

Oct 4, 2023 - 11:31:31 AM

14921 posts since 9/23/2009

Sounds like you are doing well! Great!

We used to have so many friends and friendly neighbors but in recent years we've found ourselves not only with no friends at all...at least not within geographical reach, but somehow we've made enemies of everyone around us, my family, and husband's family...it goes as far as threats to hurt us physically, and they already have hurt us quite a bit financially and in other ways...it's like...gosh...what happened? I used to play music for festivals and local events...now I have no place to play...used to have company over to laugh and talk...now it's just dodging the ones watching for a chance to make us miserable, staying out of their way so as not to ignite their anger...i mean...what happened??????????? Keeps me feeling pretty uptight, stressed out, sad, most of the time.  It's a scary and awful type of lonely.

Edited by - groundhogpeggy on 10/04/2023 11:32:53

Oct 4, 2023 - 2:18:21 PM

Quincy

Belgium

878 posts since 1/16/2021

I hope for you the storm will pass. It is hard and delicate when it comes to family, I understand.
I find people have become more hostile towards eachother in general and angry yes. It used to be a lot easier to chat with others - you know, just a chat on your way waiting at the bus station or on the train for example. If you look at faces passing by now you rarely see open faces anymore, with eyes reaching out for contact.
I have no idea what or who is to blame in this.

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