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Jan 24, 2022 - 4:52:14 PM
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9951 posts since 3/19/2009
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This was originally posted in, believe it or not, 2010... but I think it needs to be posted again.. Moderators can kick it out if they want.. no matter..
Here is a long list of Ways to tell if YOUR musical timing is bad.. Almost (not exaggerating) ALL of these have happen to me..So, If you hear me harping about using a metronome or developing good timing techniques, trust that I'm speaking from personal experience.. and yes, I STILL struggle with speeding up.. It is like a monkey on my back.. (you need to keep in mind that some of this is tongue-in-cheek as well as serious.. you get to decide which is which) 

 Enjoy: 


1. If someone gives you a metronome as a gift, your timing may be bad.

2. If you own a metronome and it keeps speeding up and slowing down, your timing may be bad. (no, its not the battery)

3. If your friends get together to play music and don't invite you, your timing may be bad.

4. If you ever play with a banjo player, your timing IS bad, and your reputation, too.

5. If you are playing next to a good musician and he turns away from you, your timing may be bad.

6. If you think that the word “metronome” refers to bus transportation, your timing be bad.

7. If you are playing next to a good musician and he turns toward you and taps his foot loudly, your timing may be bad.

8. If you are asked to play a tune solo and other musicians roll their eyes, your timing may be bad.

9. If you don’t even know what a metronome is, your timing……..

10. If you wonder why some musicians progress faster than you, your timing may be bad.

11. If you think you don’t need a metronome, your timing may be bad.

12. If, when you play, your dog howls, the cat hides and your partner says, “Honey do you have to?”, your timing may be bad.

13. If someone asks to borrow your metronome and you can’t find it….guess what

14. If the speed at which you play a tune unintentionally increases, your timing may be bad.

15. If you are really going-at-it in a jam session and the jam leader starts giving you dirty looks, your timing may be bad.

16. If you can’t tap your foot while playing, your timing may be bad.

17. If you CAN tap your foot while playing but stop tapping while playing some parts, your timing may be bad.

18. If you don’t play along with CDs, live musicians or a metronome, your timing may be bad.

19. If you think that the word metronome is spelled metro-gnome, and is 12 inches tall, has a beard and eats Sushi, while wearing designer pants and living in New York City, your timing may be bad.

20. If your metronome is gathering dust, your timing may be bad.

21. If there are occasions when the other musicians stop playing and just sit and stare at you, it probably isn’t because you are playing so amazingly well, but rather that your timing is bad.

22. If you think your timing is better after a few beers, your timing may be bad.

23. If your timing IS better after a few beers, your timing, generally is bad.

24. If, when playing on your porch during clement weather, you often hear the neighbors slam their doors and windows, you may have bad timing.

25. If your partner starts slamming doors while you are playing, your timing might be bad.

26. If you are afraid to hear yourself on a recording, your timing may be bad.

27. If your friends politely suggest that you work on your timing, your timing may be bad.

28. If people listening to you say, “Wow, that was good. You should take some lessons”, your timing………..

29. If, while playing, you don’t feel “tight” with other musicians, your timing may be bad.

30. If, while playing with others, you listen to yourself but don’t listen to the other musicians, your timing………………

31. If you don’t use your metronome because you say you can’t hear it, your…….

32. If you have ever thought about getting a metronome, your timing may be bad.

33. If you make every excuse in the world to not use your metronome, your timing may be bad.

34. If you are an experienced musician, your timing may be bad.

35. If you don’t intentionally work on timing, your timing may be bad.

36. If you have been humbled by your metronome, your timing may be bad.

37. If you can relate to some of these observations but have not dealt with them, you timing may be bad.

38. If you don’t think you are a good musician, your timing may be bad.

39. If you have just finished playing your latest hot tune and an experienced musician leans over and whispers in your ear “You’ll have to work on that one a little.” your timing may be bad.

40. If, while playing, someone in your musical group yells out “SLOW DOWN!!!”, your timing may be bad.

41. If you try to slow down but CAN’T, your timing is bad.

42. If you read the first half of this list faster than you read the last half, your…..tim….ing…..may ……be…..bad.

43. If you play with musicians who don’t work on timing, your timing may be bad.

44. If you CAN”T play a tune slowly, your timing may be bad.

45. If your timing is at all an issue, your timing might be bad.

46. If you sitting next to a good musician and he asks you to point your fiddle away from him…….

47. If you own a metronome and never use it, your timing may be bad.

48. If you are a beginner , you timing may be bad.

49. If people use this old joke on you: "Hey, what did you do with the money?" "What money?" "The money your parents gave you for music lessons!!!", you may have bad timing.



Work on your timing.

Edited by - TuneWeaver on 01/24/2022 16:53:33

Jan 24, 2022 - 6:39:41 PM

13160 posts since 9/23/2009

Ouch...that hurts...lol...I can definitely relate!

Jan 25, 2022 - 6:24 AM

1508 posts since 5/13/2008

Me...."Hey, ask me, what's the most important thing about playing music well."

You, "Ok, What's the most impor....

Me...(interrupting you, mid-sentence)... "Timing"!

Jan 25, 2022 - 8:15 AM
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Jimhand

USA

139 posts since 4/6/2012

Me???? I thought that it was everybody else! ??????

Jan 25, 2022 - 8:42:28 AM
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5804 posts since 9/26/2008

quote:
Originally posted by fiddlerjoebob

Me...."Hey, ask me, what's the most important thing about playing music well."

You, "Ok, What's the most impor....

Me...(interrupting you, mid-sentence)... "Timing"!


Cue drum and cymbal crash. laugh Ay ooooh! 

Edited by - ChickenMan on 01/25/2022 08:42:57

Jan 25, 2022 - 11:02:33 AM

9951 posts since 3/19/2009
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quote:
Originally posted by Jimhand

Me???? I thought that it was everybody else! ??????


Have to add that one to the list!!!

Jan 26, 2022 - 11:04:19 AM

13160 posts since 9/23/2009

I never realized how bad my timing was until I finally took my recording machine out of the box and started using it...finally figured to put up a scratch track on guitar to use as a playing guide...so I use the machine's metronome while recording that one...oh man...for several months I was convinced that metronome was spastic...lol. The light bulb finally went off and I realized it must be me...I mean, it couldn't be, but it MUST be. Getting those scratch tracks in sync with a metronome is still the hardest part for me...and normally my mind goes awol after a little bit and I just ignore the metronome and get off track...lol. I'm always happy when I finally get a sorta, somewhat, but not entirely decent scratch track up to base my playing on and turn that horrible metronome off.

Jan 26, 2022 - 11:46:11 AM

9951 posts since 3/19/2009
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quote:
Originally posted by groundhogpeggy

I never realized how bad my timing was until I finally took my recording machine out of the box and started using it...finally figured to put up a scratch track on guitar to use as a playing guide...so I use the machine's metronome while recording that one...oh man...for several months I was convinced that metronome was spastic...lol. The light bulb finally went off and I realized it must be me...I mean, it couldn't be, but it MUST be. Getting those scratch tracks in sync with a metronome is still the hardest part for me...and normally my mind goes awol after a little bit and I just ignore the metronome and get off track...lol. I'm always happy when I finally get a sorta, somewhat, but not entirely decent scratch track up to base my playing on and turn that horrible metronome off.


I can relate.. Sometimes I practice to my metronome... I mean TO THE Metronome... I'll pick a tune and then focus not on the tune but to being Dead ON to the metrome click..Dead on...and I'll try that tune at several speeds, again with focus on the metronome more than on the actual tune... Years ago when it finally sunk in how to get tight with that devil of a machine it became my friend AND that sense of timing became somewhat internalized...Sure I still may speed up, but within a tune I have a steady flow and IMO I don't know a tune until I have that flow........

Jan 26, 2022 - 11:55:45 AM
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2001 posts since 12/11/2008

I use my metronome all the time. Yeah, if I don't know a tune well enough, having a metronome clacking can be irritating as hell, but playing with the tick does a lot to concentrate my energies. It truly makes me a better musician.

Jan 26, 2022 - 12:01:31 PM
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5804 posts since 9/26/2008

I used to do my chores while listening to the metronome at various speeds to help internalize them, especially 120bpm. Nowadays I don't have issues with timing unless it's very late at night or I'm ~really~ drunk, both situations generally will occur at the same time but it still only happens very rarely.

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Jan 26, 2022 - 1:21:31 PM
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13160 posts since 9/23/2009

Lol…metronome + moonshine = meltdown…I think that actually is a nuclear physics formula specifically related to Chickenman’s scenario.

Jan 26, 2022 - 1:27:08 PM
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9951 posts since 3/19/2009
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quote:
Originally posted by ChickenMan

I used to do my chores while listening to the metronome at various speeds to help internalize them, especially 120bpm. Nowadays I don't have issues with timing unless it's very late at night or I'm ~really~ drunk, both situations generally will occur at the same time but it still only happens very rarely.


Maybe you should work harder to get drunk.. Um.. er... I mean... In Time..

Jan 26, 2022 - 1:52:42 PM
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doryman

USA

302 posts since 2/10/2020

quote:
Originally posted by ChickenMan

I used to do my chores while listening to the metronome at various speeds to help internalize them, especially 120bpm. Nowadays I don't have issues with timing unless it's very late at night or I'm ~really~ drunk, both situations generally will occur at the same time but it still only happens very rarely.


You familiar with this fiddle tune?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjULtWPH2EE

Edited by - doryman on 01/26/2022 13:53:26

Jan 27, 2022 - 9:41:06 AM
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3155 posts since 6/21/2007

HEY! I AM a banjo player!

Jan 27, 2022 - 11:11:25 AM

9951 posts since 3/19/2009
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quote:
Originally posted by BanjoBrad

HEY! I AM a banjo player!


Banjo players get to blame bad timing on the fiddlers... !!

Jan 27, 2022 - 3:01:05 PM

3155 posts since 6/21/2007

quote:
Originally posted by TuneWeaver
quote:
Originally posted by BanjoBrad

HEY! I AM a banjo player!


Banjo players get to blame bad timing on the fiddlers... !!


Okay, but I'm a fiddler, as well.  Also a guitarist, ukuleleist, and a mountain dulcimerist.

Jan 27, 2022 - 3:04:41 PM

9951 posts since 3/19/2009
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quote:
Originally posted by BanjoBrad
quote:
Originally posted by TuneWeaver
quote:
Originally posted by BanjoBrad

HEY! I AM a banjo player!


Banjo players get to blame bad timing on the fiddlers... !!


Okay, but I'm a fiddler, as well.  Also a guitarist, ukuleleist, and a mountain dulcimerist.


Still.. blame the fiddlers.. 

Jan 28, 2022 - 12:56:55 PM

3155 posts since 6/21/2007

I never blame myself for anything! ( ;\ )

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