Banjo Hangout Logo
Banjo Hangout Logo

Premier Sponsors

76
Fiddle Lovers Online


another age related question

Want to hide these Google ads? Join the Players Union!

Page: 1  2   Last Page (2) 

Jun 25, 2020 - 5:19:51 PM
5780 posts since 8/7/2009

Yeap, the closer I get to the other end of this experience, the more I feel like I'm running out of time. I know that sounds an attempt at being humorous, but it's not intended to be  a joke.  

I have found myself trying to cram more stuff into my life. Part of me feels like - if I'm not continually occupying myself with something, then I am wasting my precious time.  There are so many things I  was going to do, I need to do, I want to do, and I ought to do.

Have you found a way to turn it off?

Jun 25, 2020 - 5:26:23 PM
likes this

Swing

USA

1961 posts since 6/26/2007

Not me!!

Play Happy

Swing

Jun 25, 2020 - 6:28:55 PM
likes this

11038 posts since 9/23/2009

How old are you, Tony? Or am I supposed to not ask that? I never thought of it that way before, but now at a few months away from 67, I seem to be racing with the clock all the time...lol. I used to be better at sitting somewhere quiet and enjoying the moment. I was thinking it's because of where we live, the work we have piled up for us to get through all the time, etc., but maybe it's just what happens at some point or other. I'm always rushing, in a big hurry...I didn't think that was supposed to be the feelings during retirement...but seems more hectic and rushed than ever.  But it could just be our situation...a ton of work from here to TN, crazy neighbors, just stuff always going on...maybe it's just our situation.  Anyway, I have visions of long days down at the edge of the woods, pots of hot coffee, and calm fiddling by the hour...lol...nope, that kinda thing never happens.  Our fishing poles have sat idle for years and we haven't touched our canoe since we retired.

Edited by - groundhogpeggy on 06/25/2020 18:31:02

Jun 25, 2020 - 7:35:37 PM
likes this

1996 posts since 10/22/2007
Online Now

quote:
Originally posted by tonyelder

Have you found a way to turn it off?

 


Sadly, no. 

Doesn't help when you hear things like, "use it or loose it" told to me by a guy ten years my senior.

Jun 26, 2020 - 3:57:05 AM

5780 posts since 8/7/2009

quote:
Originally posted by groundhogpeggy

How old are you, Tony? Or am I supposed to not ask that? I never thought of it that way before, but now at a few months away from 67, I seem to be racing with the clock all the time...lol. I used to be better at sitting somewhere quiet and enjoying the moment. I was thinking it's because of where we live, the work we have piled up for us to get through all the time, etc., but maybe it's just what happens at some point or other. I'm always rushing, in a big hurry...I didn't think that was supposed to be the feelings during retirement...but seems more hectic and rushed than ever.  But it could just be our situation...a ton of work from here to TN, crazy neighbors, just stuff always going on...maybe it's just our situation.  Anyway, I have visions of long days down at the edge of the woods, pots of hot coffee, and calm fiddling by the hour...lol...nope, that kinda thing never happens.  Our fishing poles have sat idle for years and we haven't touched our canoe since we retired.


69 in October. I plan to retire at 70 1/2 with full SS benefits.  I enjoy what I do and the folks I work with, and get paid good, so... why not?

Starting next year - the work load will double. I will be logging 80 hours a week - on average.  I will be ready for retirement - I think.

Jun 26, 2020 - 4:55:14 AM

11038 posts since 9/23/2009

Yeah, 80 hours a week is a long and busy week. Hope you have a relaxing retirment. Mike and I both took the early retirement after working on the state rolls. I always say now, retiring is like winning the lottery...don't tell anybody about it...if it's the lottery, they'll need your money...if it's retirement, they'll need your time...they'll need a lot of help ... they'll think you retired just to help them with their plumbing, mowing, car repair, drywall, flooring, goat birthing, etc....lol.

Edited by - groundhogpeggy on 06/26/2020 04:57:20

Jun 26, 2020 - 5:04:44 AM

8405 posts since 3/19/2009

I'd suggest to focus on enjoying the things you do daily.. Pay more attention to driving, washing dishes, scratching your head.. Enjoy NOW........

Jun 26, 2020 - 6:51:08 AM

11038 posts since 9/23/2009

Good advice, Lee. Except...I really don't wanna pay more attention to washing dishes...I should be doing that right now, because I didn't feel like paying attention to that last night...lol. I always say...some day I'll get me a dishwasher...not really...seems like a big waste of energy and water and all that to me...yet, it's a big waste of my time...lol...I don't like doing dishes. I love to cook and make a big mess in the kitchen, but don't enjoy the cleanup...just one more race with the clock doing that...lol.

Edited by - groundhogpeggy on 06/26/2020 06:53:05

Jun 26, 2020 - 6:53:58 AM
likes this

4724 posts since 9/26/2008

I am not yet cramming my life full of stuff, but my wife seems to be. I do just enough to miss out on that nap I keep saying I need to take. And being perpetually tired, I really need one.

Jun 26, 2020 - 9:16:30 AM

DougD

USA

9675 posts since 12/2/2007

Peggy, guitar players are not supposed to do dishes. It softens your important calluses. Try that out at home.

Jun 26, 2020 - 9:58:18 AM
likes this

4724 posts since 9/26/2008

quote:
Originally posted by DougD

Peggy, guitar players are not supposed to do dishes. It softens your important calluses. Try that out at home.


Dish gloves are the answer to that. Ask me how I know laugh

My wife hates doing dishes and I can't stand dirty dishes in the sink so I do them nearly all the time. 

Jun 26, 2020 - 12:18:04 PM
likes this

8405 posts since 3/19/2009

My lovely wife does 100% of the cooking and I do 100% of the dishes.. Fair trade.

Jun 26, 2020 - 1:13:29 PM
likes this

8405 posts since 3/19/2009

laughDoing dishes.. Remember that EVERY moment of your life is Unique.. It will never be repeated.. It is different than all past and future moments......Why not see that moment for the beauty it offers? Look at things with your EYES, not your thoughts..laugh  Easy to say, huh?

Jun 26, 2020 - 1:50:13 PM
like this

1996 posts since 10/22/2007
Online Now

What i find is every project, even before it starts, seems to open up a can of worms. I don't mind, honestly. But other folks need to realize this. It's not ness. a time thing, but just about everything is a process, or starts a process.

Jun 26, 2020 - 2:10:27 PM
like this

Fiddler

USA

4084 posts since 6/22/2007

I rather enjoy cooking and doing dishes and cleaning. It is somewhat of a spiritual practice for me.

Tony, I left my college teaching/dept chair job in Dec 2017. I was 64. It was the best decision I have ever made. My stress level fell and I was much happier. My original plans were to work until I was 66 then take full SS benefits, but my work environment had gotten very, very toxic. I had to get out! I was fortunate in that I did not need an income. We had other resources (savings & investments) that covered any of our expenses. I took on some consulting work to bring in a few dollars to stretch our resources, but I controlled my schedule. This past April I started SS at full benefits.

Through all of this, I have been thinking about my Dad who "retired" when he was 66, but continued working as a "consultant" until he was 75. He was very happy and glad to be out from under clinical administrative duties for a State mental hospital. If he didn't want to do a case or appear in court, he didn't.

For me, I have enjoyed this time. I get to do want I want to do and on my timeline. I freely give of my time and talents to my professional organization, to my Church and to my community, both my town and the wider north Texas area.

Just after I retired, I spent some time doing some quiet self-reflection concerning what made me happy and how I wanted to spend my time. All of those going-to-dos, need-to-dos, and ought-to-dos went by the wayside. It was all what I want to do!

I want to take a nap. I want to read a book. I want to play my fiddle. I want to rebuild our fence. I want to watch TV or a movie with my wife. I want to make some bread. I want to serve on this committee. I want to participate in this event. I want my ideas to be challenged. I want....

Sounds selfish, but it is not. We have earned it. We don't need anyone's approval anymore. We don't need to make excuses for anyone. So, if you are enjoying working and the people you are working with, great! And, you have some extra money coming in. I am truly glad for you!

Here's a short, true retirement story. .... A friend of mine retired from his job as VP of a major chemical company in 2017. I'm not sure if the decision was totally his, but he left. He contacted me in 2018 shortly after hearing that I had "retired". During our visit he told me that leaving his job had nearly cost him his life. His identity was in his job and in his company. He really didn't have any hobbies or other interests. He controlled a huge budget and managed a lot of people all over the world. When he retired, he lost all of that power. He told me that he had spiraled into a deep depression and had nearly committed suicide. He was sitting in his den with a handful of sleeping pills and a bottle of whiskey. As he was bringing the bottle to lips to wash down the pills, something happened and he snapped out it momentarily - long enough to spit the pills out. He immediately called his doctor and got help. He is now finding purpose in his life helping other executives who are now finding themselves unemployed and in "retirement". He said that while he was working, there were always expectations and people to answer to. Now, he just answers to himself (and his wife). He is doing well.

So, Tony, I hope you find happiness and contentment in doing whatever you want to do.

Jun 26, 2020 - 2:34:51 PM

8405 posts since 3/19/2009

quote:
Originally posted by Fiddler

I rather enjoy cooking and doing dishes and cleaning. It is somewhat of a spiritual practice for me.

Tony, I left my college teaching/dept chair job in Dec 2017. I was 64. It was the best decision I have ever made. My stress level fell and I was much happier. My original plans were to work until I was 66 then take full SS benefits, but my work environment had gotten very, very toxic. I had to get out! I was fortunate in that I did not need an income. We had other resources (savings & investments) that covered any of our expenses. I took on some consulting work to bring in a few dollars to stretch our resources, but I controlled my schedule. This past April I started SS at full benefits.

Through all of this, I have been thinking about my Dad who "retired" when he was 66, but continued working as a "consultant" until he was 75. He was very happy and glad to be out from under clinical administrative duties for a State mental hospital. If he didn't want to do a case or appear in court, he didn't.

For me, I have enjoyed this time. I get to do want I want to do and on my timeline. I freely give of my time and talents to my professional organization, to my Church and to my community, both my town and the wider north Texas area.

Just after I retired, I spent some time doing some quiet self-reflection concerning what made me happy and how I wanted to spend my time. All of those going-to-dos, need-to-dos, and ought-to-dos went by the wayside. It was all what I want to do!

I want to take a nap. I want to read a book. I want to play my fiddle. I want to rebuild our fence. I want to watch TV or a movie with my wife. I want to make some bread. I want to serve on this committee. I want to participate in this event. I want my ideas to be challenged. I want....

Sounds selfish, but it is not. We have earned it. We don't need anyone's approval anymore. We don't need to make excuses for anyone. So, if you are enjoying working and the people you are working with, great! And, you have some extra money coming in. I am truly glad for you!

Here's a short, true retirement story. .... A friend of mine retired from his job as VP of a major chemical company in 2017. I'm not sure if the decision was totally his, but he left. He contacted me in 2018 shortly after hearing that I had "retired". During our visit he told me that leaving his job had nearly cost him his life. His identity was in his job and in his company. He really didn't have any hobbies or other interests. He controlled a huge budget and managed a lot of people all over the world. When he retired, he lost all of that power. He told me that he had spiraled into a deep depression and had nearly committed suicide. He was sitting in his den with a handful of sleeping pills and a bottle of whiskey. As he was bringing the bottle to lips to wash down the pills, something happened and he snapped out it momentarily - long enough to spit the pills out. He immediately called his doctor and got help. He is now finding purpose in his life helping other executives who are now finding themselves unemployed and in "retirement". He said that while he was working, there were always expectations and people to answer to. Now, he just answers to himself (and his wife). He is doing well.

So, Tony, I hope you find happiness and contentment in doing whatever you want to do.


One word... Wonderful.

Jun 26, 2020 - 2:45:30 PM
like this

960 posts since 6/26/2007

At 78 and not great health, I occasionally feel like I should get more done, but the feeling doesn't last long. Realistically, there are now very few things that HAVE to be done. I started a new fiddle about two years ago and haven't worked on it in the last year or more. I would like to hear it, but it really doesn't matter too much. I don't know how much time I have left, and I don't want to waste much of it on things that don't matter to me right now. Naps are necessary.

Jun 26, 2020 - 3:24:09 PM
likes this

8405 posts since 3/19/2009

yes.. Naps.. are necessary..!

Jun 26, 2020 - 4:09:35 PM
like this

WyoBob

USA

110 posts since 5/16/2019

quote:
Originally posted by groundhogpeggy

Good advice, Lee. Except...I really don't wanna pay more attention to washing dishes...I should be doing that right now, because I didn't feel like paying attention to that last night...lol. I always say...some day I'll get me a dishwasher...not really...seems like a big waste of energy and water and all that to me...yet, it's a big waste of my time...lol...I don't like doing dishes. I love to cook and make a big mess in the kitchen, but don't enjoy the cleanup...just one more race with the clock doing that...lol.


Dishwashers.   I love them.   And, Peggy, from my research, they use less energy/water than hand washing. 

Our 15 year old dishwasher is on it's last legs.   Five years ago, the tube that transferred the water to the top impeller wore through and I made a replacement out of the proper size vinyl tubing and some hose clamps and it worked fine.   We found a replacement rack at the second hand store to replace the one that rusted out a few years ago.   Well, we've rode that pony as long as we could and I started shopping for a new dishwasher over the last few days.   I decided a Bosch was the one we wanted and there isn't one for sale within 110 miles of where we live (Casper).   I can order one and drive to Casper, WY and pick it up in 2-3 weeks.   I sure hope ours doesn't give up the ghost.   I don't want to play my fiddle (or banjo) with "dish pan hands"surprise  Perhaps paper plates are in our future.

Jun 26, 2020 - 4:16:11 PM
like this

5780 posts since 8/7/2009

quote:
Originally posted by Fiddler


So, Tony, I hope you find happiness and contentment in doing whatever you want to do.


Thanks for your "well wishes" Kirk.

Perhaps I have left the wrong impression. This isn't being forced on me - nor is it a big burden, but it does make me pause at times. 

I did say - "I plan to retire at 70 1/2 with full SS benefits.  I enjoy what I do and the folks I work with, and get paid good, so... why not?"  I am an onsite contractor (I&E planner / field engineer at a refinery - working scheduled turnarounds).

...full benefits meaning the maximum payout and the required minimum distribution of 401K.  My wife will turn 65 that year and Medicare / Medicaid will kick in for her. We shouldn't have to sacrifice the life style we are used to.

AND I also said - "I have found myself trying to cram more stuff into my life. Part of me feels like - if I'm not continually occupying myself with something, then I am wasting my precious time.  There are so many things I  was going to do, I need to do, I want to do, and I ought to do.

The motivation is knowing where I am in years and what I wanted to have done - to enjoy when I do retire.

Bought a house a few years back. This spring has been full of me making work for myself while I can - doing things I want to do (get done while I have time). I've planted 12 trees cut down 2 trees, put in 5 raised garden beds (with cinder blocks), completely re-worked 3 large flower beds, and stated on 2 others. I've hauled in about 20 yards of top soil and leaf mold (1 at a time in my truck), started a compost pile since April. But - wait - there's more...  not looking for sympathy - but at 68 - that can seem at times to be more a labor of necessity than a labor of love.

Sometimes I get a chance to stop and then realize what I'm doing to myself, and I wonder why?  I start to think about what else I could do that would be a little more "relaxed".  But I'm still committed to the task and I do find fulfillment in what gets done - and we get to enjoy the fruit of our labor.

Just curious if anyone else has found themselves "there" too? ...just a talking point...

And there is time for fiddling - on the back porch Peggy (well its a patio, but that counts too, right?)

Jun 26, 2020 - 4:41:19 PM

Old Scratch

Canada

581 posts since 6/22/2016

Kinda reminds me of a guy I worked with a long time ago, doing hard physical labour. He was always complaining/bragging (not saying that's what you're doing) about how much work he "had to" do at home in the evening - all kinds of garden and yard stuff ... and I would always think, You didn't have to do that; you chose to do it; some of us chose to do other stuff ....

Jun 26, 2020 - 5:02:37 PM

8405 posts since 3/19/2009

quote:
Originally posted by Old Scratch

Kinda reminds me of a guy I worked with a long time ago, doing hard physical labour. He was always complaining/bragging (not saying that's what you're doing) about how much work he "had to" do at home in the evening - all kinds of garden and yard stuff ... and I would always think, You didn't have to do that; you chose to do it; some of us chose to do other stuff ....


Which reminds me.. with one particular past wife.. I worked 6 days a week and evenings and Sundays, changed diapers, helped with the laundry, didn't drink, cuss,or hit..  Took the kids to games, lessons, and whatever.. Made all home repairs, mowed the lawn, remodeled, changed the car's oil, and went to church and didn't complain. Tried to listen and talk....  She worked hard also..I must say... but it was never enough.. I couldn't do enough.. Who was she comparing me to, "Jesus"...   I don't remember anything about him changing diapers..OK... nuff laugh

Jun 26, 2020 - 5:20:15 PM
like this

Old Scratch

Canada

581 posts since 6/22/2016

Took me a long time to realize I actually wasn't responsible for anyone's else's happiness ... or lack thereof .......

Jun 26, 2020 - 5:59:50 PM
like this

1600 posts since 12/11/2008

I've always been a lazy bum and I was skilled enough at my job to do the work in half the time it seemed to take my workmates (essentially we wrote book reports at a major Hollywood movie studio). We worked out of our residences so nobody could keep close tabs on us, in any event. It didn't hurt that nobody in the upper strata of the corporate hierarchy could've given a hoot as to how many hours we toiled. They just wanted those book reports.

At any rate, this allowed me to spend more time on what really pushed my buttons -- family life and playing music. Even daily chores are a pleasure for me.

Jun 26, 2020 - 6:16:22 PM
likes this

5780 posts since 8/7/2009

quote:
Originally posted by Old Scratch

Kinda reminds me of a guy I worked with a long time ago, doing hard physical labour. He was always complaining/bragging (not saying that's what you're doing) about how much work he "had to" do at home in the evening - all kinds of garden and yard stuff ... and I would always think, You didn't have to do that; you chose to do it; some of us chose to do other stuff ....


Yeap, and that's the point...  "some of us chose to do other stuff..."   Of course - this isn't about gardening or doing yard work. For a long time it was playing in 2 bands and solo - going to festivals, all the "good" jams I could find, and hosting a bluegrass event each year in the spring. - and then along came the fiddle and OT music. And then there was another time in my life when... never mind.

I think we are all guilty to some degree at one time or another - a feeling of not having enough time to get it all done, wanting to hurry up and get there. 

And the opposite is - to do nothing - and I don't enjoy the thought of "that" being what I end up with. I remember the joke I was told about the person who wanted to live a really long life. They decided to do "nothing" - knowing that time seems to always pass a lot slower when you are bored. BUT - if they realized their desire, was a boring life really worth having a longer life?

My comments were more to the point of me coming to realize the time I have left, and what I am doing with it?  The question, is it wise to keep on cramming more things on our to do list at a time when the "prevailing wisdom" says to slow down? "Cramming" is probably an exaggeration - but using it describes one side of the argument. And there are times it feels that way. That could sound like complaining.

But you are right - I'm not complaining or bragging... nor am I asking for advise. We are going to do - what we are going to do. I'm just talking out loud - curious to know if  any others are thinking / doing something similar.

Or just tell me how foolish you think I am.  laugh

Jun 26, 2020 - 6:43:02 PM
like this

5780 posts since 8/7/2009

quote:
Originally posted by Old Scratch

Took me a long time to realize I actually wasn't responsible for anyone's else's happiness ... or lack thereof .......


but you never stopped trying

Page: 1  2   Last Page (2) 

Hangout Network Help

View All Topics  |  View Categories

0.25