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Oct 16, 2019 - 4:10:34 AM

Dragonslayer

Mozambique

153 posts since 9/1/2019

Here's a Waltz I wrote recently, it's the first one I've written and the third I've learned. I hope you enjoy it, and critique is welcome (but remember I've only been playing less than two years)


Oct 16, 2019 - 4:06:59 PM
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20 posts since 7/7/2011

Your disclaimer of "remember, I've only been playing..."is kind of immaterial. Your presenting for judgement a song you've written, not how well or not well you play. I know it's not polite to be critical in our age of everybody is a star but I don't feel what you've offered really qualifies as much of a song. It's a collection of notes in waltz time that seems to meander and at times sounds a lot like another well known waltz. Keep at it and you may then be able to discern the wheat from the chaff.

Oct 17, 2019 - 1:10:15 AM

Dragonslayer

Mozambique

153 posts since 9/1/2019

quote:
Originally posted by mwcarr

Your disclaimer of "remember, I've only been playing..."is kind of immaterial. Your presenting for judgement a song you've written, not how well or not well you play. I know it's not polite to be critical in our age of everybody is a star but I don't feel what you've offered really qualifies as much of a song. It's a collection of notes in waltz time that seems to meander and at times sounds a lot like another well known waltz. Keep at it and you may then be able to discern the wheat from the chaff.


I do not think the disclaimer was immaterial, because it was not just the tune I opened to criticism but my playing technique as well. 

As to the tune itself, why does it not count as a "song"? It has a question and answer form in AABB configuration like any fiddle tune. And which well known waltz does it sound like? I don't know almost any waltzes 

Oct 17, 2019 - 6:32:38 PM
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196 posts since 9/6/2011

Don't worry about it-Gunnar. I think that your wheat farm is growing just fine. Keep playing and keep writing . :)

Oct 17, 2019 - 11:55:16 PM

Dragonslayer

Mozambique

153 posts since 9/1/2019

quote:
Originally posted by imapicker2

Don't worry about it-Gunnar. I think that your wheat farm is growing just fine. Keep playing and keep writing . :)


Thanks Dwight! 

 

Little off topic story about wheat.... earlier this year I worked for a couple months at a trampoline park in Texas (long story) and when one of the guys who worked there heard I lived in Africa, he said "how's the weed there?" But I can't understand people mumbling and thought he said "wheat" so I was like "well, you can make bread with it" and he was confused and then said "no the weed" and I heard "wheat" again. It went on maybe three times before I finally understood and then I'm like I don't know I don't smoke 

Oct 19, 2019 - 4:26:08 PM
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233 posts since 7/18/2014

It’s a little too all over the place for my taste.

However, just a suggestion to try. On your video, from :31 to 1:00, make that the A part and just play it one time. From 1:01 to 1:14, make that the B part and play it twice, but resolve the second time B part as you do at 1:29.

I think you would have a nice little tune that way.

Oct 20, 2019 - 2:16:24 AM

Dragonslayer

Mozambique

153 posts since 9/1/2019

Ok thanks, I think I understand what you're saying, but I like it as it is, it's a matter of taste

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