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 ARCHIVED TOPIC: Tell something that is TRUE but sounds made up..


Please note this is an archived topic, so it is locked and unable to be replied to. You may, however, start a new topic and refer to this topic with a link: http://www.fiddlehangout.com/archive/53250

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TuneWeaver - Posted - 04/11/2020:  13:56:32


I'll go first.. Many years ago I was chatting with this guy about outdoors stuff... As a JOKE I mentioned that I had heard that the State DNR had been watching a Pterodactyl at a nearby wildlife refuge......He thought about what I said, for a moment and then replied, "Yeah, I heard there was a pair of them out there."..........

Now, years later, I'm still wondering if he was 'on' to me or if he was fooled by me..





Another one.. Figure this out.. I have a brother who died at the age of one.... a different brother who I grew up with as my only brother.... a different brother who was  raised as an only child...and a different brother who nobody in the family met until he was 43 years old..Family dynamics can be strange..


Edited by - TuneWeaver on 04/11/2020 14:00:23

groundhogpeggy - Posted - 04/11/2020:  14:54:27


I can't think of anything true or false that sounds false or true. I will keep thinking, though...lol...I'm sure there must be something. Hope others can chime in with unbelievable tales.

TuneWeaver - Posted - 04/11/2020:  15:54:06


quote:

Originally posted by groundhogpeggy

I can't think of anything true or false that sounds false or true. I will keep thinking, though...lol...I'm sure there must be something. Hope others can chime in with unbelievable tales.






Peggy, if anyone is going to come up with an unbelievable story it'll be you... and DOUG!!! wink

farmerjones - Posted - 04/11/2020:  17:07:52


A few years ago my partner and i were playing for a seniors club sponsored by a local bank. Small town, so half the town was down in this church basement for this luncheon. All was going well with the entertainment. But i wanted to do a tune where my buddy wanted to use a capo. We couldn't find it. So i volenteered to run back to this classroom we had been warming up in. While he chatted and ad libbed with the crowd. No small run. The stage was at the opposite end from exit and said classroom. Run back to classroom. No capo. Run back. Pant, pant. He says, "no problem, i guess i just won't use a capo." Well, okay. We take off playing the song/tune. I don't know if it was that tune or the next, but i happened to look at the scroll of my fiddle and there's a capo snapped on it. We had been horsing around in that classroom, and i snapped that capo on, just for laughs. Well after the tune i pointed to the capo. Said i found it. The audience broke into hysterics. We were a terrific hit. Folks thought we made that bit up, but it was 100% serindepity. (sp?)

Astrang - Posted - 04/11/2020:  17:57:19


My wife says I should wear a mask more often.

Flat_the_3rd_n7th - Posted - 04/11/2020:  19:31:16


Pre-toilet paper days:

Grampa said they used two regular corn cobs, then a white one to check the job

Flat_the_3rd_n7th - Posted - 04/11/2020:  19:35:11


I don't know if it's true, but funny anyhow--



Feller said he lived on a farm so steep he had to plant his corn with a shotgun, and had to monitor it's progress by looking up his chimbley (hillspeak for chimney)


Edited by - Flat_the_3rd_n7th on 04/11/2020 19:47:16

Flat_the_3rd_n7th - Posted - 04/11/2020:  19:46:18


GREAT-Grampa got in a fight, and like typical Scotch-Irish, he liked to gouge and bite like hell--he bit the man's nose off. The county paper reported that the victim had his nose sewed back on upside down, and every time he sneezed, he blowed his hat off--true story

farmerjones - Posted - 04/12/2020:  08:02:15


Two hollars over from that guy. They's another digging a well. He never dug one before. He accidently dug it upside down, fell out and broke his neck.

BanjoBrad - Posted - 04/12/2020:  10:16:46


I learned the meaning of "knocking someone (something) loopy" when I was driving home one night while in High School. A jackrabbit froze in the headlights and didn't get out of the way. I heard the bump as I ran over him, but it didn't feel like I got him with a tire. I looked back in the mirror and here was this jackrabbit in the middle of the road jumping up and down in a circle that was about 6' in diameter. I stopped and watched for a few minutes as he slowly moved the circle off the road and down the hill. Came back the next morning but couldn't find any sign of him, I hunted for about 1/2 hour on and off the road, so apparently he didn't die, just wound up being a bit "Loopy."

TuneWeaver - Posted - 04/12/2020:  12:34:35


BanjoBrad, your story reminds me of another of mine.. While traveling down a narrow country road that had tall grass growing right up to the road...A SKUNK darted out from the grass and I ran over it.. .......SEVEN DAYS LATER, I was driving down that same road..Up ahead I could still see the dead skunk.. As I got close, ANOTHER skunk darted out just about two feet from the currently dead skunk and I proceeded to run over that skunk also... Now, there were two dead skunks just two feet apart on this lonely country road,,,, and I'd run over both.. Ya can't make this up...

ChickenMan - Posted - 04/12/2020:  13:19:31


Lee, that story reminds me of  a couple of driving stories. The first time I drove at night by myself after getting my driver's license. I was going to pick up my date who lived in the country on a gravel road. It was pre-twilight, probably 7-7:30pm, and there were a good number of trees lining the road. As I rounded a curve there were suddenly about a dozen rabbits in the road. Imagine my trauma as I proceeded to run over what felt and sounded like all of them. It was like a terrible drum solo played on the undercarriage of the car. Needless to say, I took an alternate route leaving her place and returning her home. But when I went back home, I drove through the carnage very carefully and as quickly as possible. To this day, I am very aware of what might be just beyond my headlights.



 



Three months ago, while bringing our little Reggie home from the shelter, we had to stop the car for four turkeys sashaying down the middle of the road (paved county road). We stopped and these turkeys walked right up to the driver's side window and were big enough to look right in the window of the car. I honked, they gobbled. I honked again, they gobbled again. This went on for a few minutes before an SUV approached in the other lane and the turkeys sashayed off the road. laugh

Old Scratch - Posted - 04/12/2020:  13:35:29


I was the toughest kid in my class in grade 3.

TuneWeaver - Posted - 04/12/2020:  15:01:09


quote:

Originally posted by Old Scratch

I was the toughest kid in my class in grade 3.






I THINK you just might be the toughtest guy on the Hangout....pretty sure.

Old Scratch - Posted - 04/12/2020:  15:17:04


@TuneWeaver Aw, shucks - look, you're making me blush!

tpquinn - Posted - 04/12/2020:  17:19:51


Mine's similar to Billy's. Years ago when I was driving tractor-trailers, I was getting off the interstate and on a cloverleaf when a opossum started to run across the lane. I moved over in the lane to where I would, hopefully, pass over him. I then immediately called the truck behind me and asked if I hit it. He said "Was it dead when you got there?" Not feeling good about my answer, I said "No". He came back, "Yeah, you hit it". Rather than running across the road, the poor critter stopped just where I aimed my tires to miss him. Still feel bad about that.

Flat_the_3rd_n7th - Posted - 04/12/2020:  18:02:24


Runover stories--

I play with a bluegrass band at a monthly gospel 'sangin' (well, used to til this month) and it wraps up at night. The route home is pretty far, dark and snakey through national forest. One time on the way home in the dark, a razorback hog came running out of the woods and under my truck. It made a thump, and I saw the dark form flopping in the road in the rearview. I didn't stop cause I didn't want to fool with it, but I got out down the mtn and checked my truck, and one of the rear mudflaps was gone. I drove back up the hill thinking I could find the hog carcass and my mudflap but nothing. The next month, I told one of the folks at the church I ran over a hog and he said he knows a man that shot a hog with a mudflap stuck on it's tushes. I swear I'm not lying.

TuneWeaver - Posted - 04/13/2020:  04:59:16


quote:

Originally posted by Flat_the_3rd_n7th

Runover stories--



I play with a bluegrass band at a monthly gospel 'sangin' (well, used to til this month) and it wraps up at night. The route home is pretty far, dark and snakey through national forest. One time on the way home in the dark, a razorback hog came running out of the woods and under my truck. It made a thump, and I saw the dark form flopping in the road in the rearview. I didn't stop cause I didn't want to fool with it, but I got out down the mtn and checked my truck, and one of the rear mudflaps was gone. I drove back up the hill thinking I could find the hog carcass and my mudflap but nothing. The next month, I told one of the folks at the church I ran over a hog and he said he knows a man that shot a hog with a mudflap stuck on it's tushes. I swear I'm not lying.






If you'd agree to believe my two skunk story, I'll agree to believe your mudflap hog story!!!!

Hardluck65 - Posted - 04/13/2020:  05:44:36


Many years ago I was leaving my Dad's place who lived on a dirt road. As I turned on to the road I saw a small monkey. It ran off and I had to check this out . I stopped and got out to look closer. I saw it run down the hill. I then found hand prints in the soft parts of the road. For many weeks it haunted me. Monkees don't grow in the hills of PA. at long last I call the manager of a zoo. He said people get them as pets and then turn them loose all the time.
I thought my thinker was on the fritz. As a hunter and trapper I knew the woods well and I could not make this fit.
True story
Thank You
God Bless
bobby

TuneWeaver - Posted - 04/13/2020:  05:49:03


quote:

Originally posted by Hardluck65

Many years ago I was leaving my Dad's place who lived on a dirt road. As I turned on to the road I saw a small monkey. It ran off and I had to check this out . I stopped and got out to look closer. I saw it run down the hill. I then found hand prints in the soft parts of the road. For many weeks it haunted me. Monkees don't grow in the hills of PA. at long last I call the manager of a zoo. He said people get them as pets and then turn them loose all the time.

I thought my thinker was on the fritz. As a hunter and trapper I knew the woods well and I could not make this fit.

True story

Thank You

God Bless

bobby






I believe your story, Bobby..and am surprised that in our warmer states  there has not been developed a breeding population......guess you'd would have to have seen TWO monkeys for that to happen!!! ;)



 

TuneWeaver - Posted - 04/13/2020:  05:56:48


This comment is Slightly off topic but I can't resist making it since we have gotten onto animals...... Blame Covid-19. 



Luckily, we saw a Red-Headed Woodpecker in our yard yesterday.. We know they are in the area but they seldom come to our feeder.. Also, last week I saw a Rufous-sided Towhee.. We reported the sighting of the Towhee to the Feeder Watch Site and they demand a photo before they'll believe that it was seen.. I KNOW what a Rufous Sided Towhee looks like.. having seen them many times...Next, they'll be doubting that Pterodactyl sighting I'm about to report..!!!


Edited by - TuneWeaver on 04/13/2020 05:58:45

groundhogpeggy - Posted - 04/13/2020:  12:32:11


As long as you don't try to report the Loch Ness monster, Lee!

boxbow - Posted - 04/13/2020:  13:27:21


OK, this one LOOKS made up.  I'm standing on a vertical wall.  It's at a friend's indoor climbing gym.  We were horsing around.  The move is called a knee bar.  Look Ma, no hands!


Edited by - boxbow on 04/13/2020 13:30:39


Flat_the_3rd_n7th - Posted - 04/13/2020:  15:30:29


quote:

Originally posted by TuneWeaver

quote:

Originally posted by Flat_the_3rd_n7th

Runover stories--



I play with a bluegrass band at a monthly gospel 'sangin' (well, used to til this month) and it wraps up at night. The route home is pretty far, dark and snakey through national forest. One time on the way home in the dark, a razorback hog came running out of the woods and under my truck. It made a thump, and I saw the dark form flopping in the road in the rearview. I didn't stop cause I didn't want to fool with it, but I got out down the mtn and checked my truck, and one of the rear mudflaps was gone. I drove back up the hill thinking I could find the hog carcass and my mudflap but nothing. The next month, I told one of the folks at the church I ran over a hog and he said he knows a man that shot a hog with a mudflap stuck on it's tushes. I swear I'm not lying.






If you'd agree to believe my two skunk story, I'll agree to believe your mudflap hog story!!!!






I DO believe your 2-skunk story, especially if it occurred in late Feb-early March timeframe translated to your locale.  In the Ozarks, that's mating season and you find dead skunks all over the road then.  Few weeks later it stops.

Flat_the_3rd_n7th - Posted - 04/13/2020:  15:33:39


quote:

Originally posted by boxbow

OK, this one LOOKS made up.  I'm standing on a vertical wall.  It's at a friend's indoor climbing gym.  We were horsing around.  The move is called a knee bar.  Look Ma, no hands!






This looks like one of those fun-houses that you walk through, and somewhere along the way there's a room where water appears to flow uphill.

TuneWeaver - Posted - 04/13/2020:  15:34:06


quote:

Originally posted by Flat_the_3rd_n7th

quote:

Originally posted by TuneWeaver

quote:

Originally posted by Flat_the_3rd_n7th

Runover stories--



I play with a bluegrass band at a monthly gospel 'sangin' (well, used to til this month) and it wraps up at night. The route home is pretty far, dark and snakey through national forest. One time on the way home in the dark, a razorback hog came running out of the woods and under my truck. It made a thump, and I saw the dark form flopping in the road in the rearview. I didn't stop cause I didn't want to fool with it, but I got out down the mtn and checked my truck, and one of the rear mudflaps was gone. I drove back up the hill thinking I could find the hog carcass and my mudflap but nothing. The next month, I told one of the folks at the church I ran over a hog and he said he knows a man that shot a hog with a mudflap stuck on it's tushes. I swear I'm not lying.






If you'd agree to believe my two skunk story, I'll agree to believe your mudflap hog story!!!!






I DO believe your 2-skunk story, especially if it occurred in late Feb-early March timeframe translated to your locale.  In the Ozarks, that's mating season and you find dead skunks all over the road then.  Few weeks later it stops.






YES.. Confirmation.. That is what I was lookin' for ..!! My story is TRUE.. Don't remember the month.. It was  in 1965!!!...(DO remember the year)...

ChickenMan - Posted - 04/13/2020:  16:21:22


I quote:

Originally posted by Flat_the_3rd_n7th

quote:

Originally posted by boxbow

OK, this one LOOKS made up.  I'm standing on a vertical wall.  It's at a friend's indoor climbing gym.  We were horsing around.  The move is called a knee bar.  Look Ma, no hands!






This looks like one of those fun-houses that you walk through, and somewhere along the way there's a room where water appears to flow uphill.






The Mystery Spot! At least that’s one name I remember, but they’re all over, especially along tourist routes. I love those silly places!

TuneWeaver - Posted - 04/13/2020:  16:25:22


quote:

Originally posted by ChickenMan

I quote:

Originally posted by Flat_the_3rd_n7th

quote:

Originally posted by boxbow

OK, this one LOOKS made up.  I'm standing on a vertical wall.  It's at a friend's indoor climbing gym.  We were horsing around.  The move is called a knee bar.  Look Ma, no hands!






This looks like one of those fun-houses that you walk through, and somewhere along the way there's a room where water appears to flow uphill.






The Mystery Spot! At least that’s one name I remember, but they’re all over, especially along tourist routes. I love those silly places!






How about the one on the way to Clifftop?? mysteryhole.com/  The laws of gravity DEFIED!!!!!  Cain't git better en' at..



 


Edited by - TuneWeaver on 04/13/2020 16:26:14

imapicker2 - Posted - 04/14/2020:  11:44:21


Got tired of standing on the bank and so I bought a used fishing boat.

First day on the lake looked like rain ,so we put the lunch and 35mm camera in the dry storage compartment.

It did not rain,and later I opened the lid to get the lunch; the lunch was floating but the camera ,not so much.

I had just learned where to put the fish when you catch them, it's called a live well . Oh well!

We had a very soggy peanut butter sandwich for lunch and the camera never did work again. Did not catch a fish.

farmerjones - Posted - 04/14/2020:  15:14:08


I knew a fellar that has 4 or 5 little kids and they all walk a mile and a half to church. Every Sunday he gives each kid a can of spray paint. On the way to church they paint each road-killed critter. So on the way home they only pick up the critters with no paint. Take them home for dinner.


Edited by - farmerjones on 04/14/2020 15:15:13

TuneWeaver - Posted - 04/14/2020:  15:48:07


quote:

Originally posted by farmerjones

I knew a fellar that has 4 or 5 little kids and they all walk a mile and a half to church. Every Sunday he gives each kid a can of spray paint. On the way to church they paint each road-killed critter. So on the way home they only pick up the critters with no paint. Take them home for dinner.






There is truth in that, I know.. I have often picked up road killed squirrels.. When people ask me how I know if they are fresh, I say, "When I traveled this road an hour ago, and it wasn't killed then, but is now, then it is less than an hour old.".. Really.. I've done that.. If the body is still warm..then it is Fresh..  Also, I've taught many college students how to skin/tan hides.. They always asked how to tell if an animal is fresh.. I'd say, "If it wasn't there this morning..it is fresh now..".



 

DougD - Posted - 04/14/2020:  16:05:22


This song is a local favorite: youtu.be/T2dQhvrdW_s

farmerjones - Posted - 04/14/2020:  16:08:48


In our state one can get a r-k tag for deer. Out dept. forman drove from a town 5 miles away, daily. He'd periodically find a freh one. We would grind the whole deer into slim-jims. The plant breakroom fridge was always stocked with slim-jims free for the whole plant.

Flat_the_3rd_n7th - Posted - 04/14/2020:  16:36:03


One more--Ozarks region is full of windy's:

We went tracking a gut-shot deer one time and my buddy took his .44mag bear repellant. Got down in greenbriar over your head, and I heard a she-bear get after him. He skinned up a tree. I asked him later why didn't he shoot? He says the 'bresh' was so thick, he couldn't cock his pistol.

TimeTension - Posted - 04/15/2020:  00:20:15


quote:

Originally posted by Old Scratch

I was the toughest kid in my class in grade 3.






I was too, but I was 19. Also had the most whiskers.

Astrang - Posted - 04/20/2020:  19:00:20


Back in the day, when the first four door pickup trucks became available in my area, I got one for a work truck. Still new to the truck, needing to go get some material, walking toward the truck looking down reviewing my material list, as I saw the door handle come into view, I just reached out and opened the door, got in and shut the door.

Well, something went terribly wrong that, everything was gone. There was no steering wheel, no key switch, no brake pedal, no gas pedal, no dash, no nothing. I must be in the twilight zone. What the heck just happened? Then I look up further. I see all that stuff is way up there, about five feet in front of me. Up there’s my steering wheel, there’s the key switch, my brake pedal and my turn signals, it’s all way up there. Gee Whiz, how could this happen me, I’d crawled into the back seat of the truck. I can’t believe it.

So there I am, just sitting in the back seat of this truck, all by myself, looking stupid and feeling about an inch tall. I kind of look around to see if anyone is watching. How embarrassing. There are a lot of people around but I don’t see anyone laughing at me, so maybe no one noticed, but just in case I just sat there a little while. I pulled out a blueprint and looked at it for a few minutes; then acted like I was writing something else on my list. I finally made my way up to the front seat and got the heck out of there. No one ever said anything to me about it so I guess I got by with it, until now. Now days I’ve just got a regular old two door pickup truck.

Old Scratch - Posted - 04/21/2020:  07:18:47


That reminds me ..... In my father's last days, I flew home to see him. While there, I drove his car over to drop something off to a family friend, who I had worked for doing construction in my younger days - that's another bunch of stories .... I found Bill working in his garage, and we had a bit of a yarn, as the Newfoundlanders say. Then I went back to my father's car, put the key in the ignition - and it wouldn't turn. No matter what. Finally, I swallowed my pride, got out of the car, and went back to Bill in the garage. "Bill, I said, I don't know what's going on: the key just won't turn in the ignition." He stared at me with a look I remembered well: a mix of bewilderment, distress, and intense concentration. After a few silent seconds of this, he said, "Do you have another set of keys on you?" I reached into my left-hand jacket pocket, and sure enough, there was another set of keys - I had been trying to start my father's car with the keys to my car back home. I drove off feeling relieved, embarrassed - and once again, in awe of the genius of that man.

TuneWeaver - Posted - 04/21/2020:  07:39:01


Speaking of cars.. Once when I was an assistant manager in a super market, some lady came in and said that she had locked her keys in the car and asked if I could help her get the door open.. I got a coat hanger and IN THE RAIN struggled with the door.. Finally, another store employee came out to see if he could help.. He stood and looked... then went around to the passenger side of the car and reached through the OPEN window and opened that door... DUH... It was funny..

Another...Several years ago at CLifftop ...we were parked facing up hill (everything at Clifftop is on a hill).. Time to go.. we pushed and pushed but could not get Larry's truck to get up the hill and onto the road. We enlisted help from three or four strong guys to help push. Finally.. I noticed that only ONE of his back wheels was turning.. "Larry!...RELEASE THE PARKING BREAK, OK?" Problem solved..!!

Swing - Posted - 04/21/2020:  10:15:49


I have a fiddle related story. Many years ago when my youngest son turned eleven, the house was over run by his friends for the birthday party... I was going to play some tunes to games that we had figured out.... the telephone rings and I answer it..on the other end of the line was Cliff Bruner (of Texas Swing fame) calling from Houston... I had written him a letter and he was responding to me via the telephone.. He was and still is one of my fiddle heroes... anyway, we talked for and hour and a half. I had locked my self in a bathroom so we could talk... in our discussion I bought many tapes from him that are private label stuff that he had.... I finally had to excuse myself to play for my son's party... I eventually got my tapes and lots of other memorabilia from Cliff and over the next year he called me another three times.... quite the gentleman...

Play Happy

Swing

pete_fiddle - Posted - 04/21/2020:  11:09:40


Before my friend had her, (thankfully very successful) eye operation. She told me she had a hole in her retina about the size of a small car?

ChickenMan - Posted - 04/21/2020:  12:41:37


quote:

Originally posted by Astrang

.... I pulled out a blueprint and looked at it for a few minutes; then acted like I was writing something else on my list. I finally made my way up to the front seat and got the heck out of there. No one ever said anything to me about it so I guess I got by with it, until now. Now days I’ve just got a regular old two door pickup truck.






Good thinking. This is a very funny story. Very funny.  laugh



 



 



... wipes tears away and attempts to post to FHO. smiley

ChickenMan - Posted - 04/21/2020:  12:48:08


quote:

Originally posted by Old Scratch

That reminds me ..... we had a bit of a yarn, as the Newfoundlanders say. Then I went back to my father's car, put the key in the ignition - and it wouldn't turn. No matter what."..... He stared at me with a look I remembered well: a mix of bewilderment, distress, and intense concentration. After a few silent seconds of this, he said, "Do you have another set of keys on you?"......... I had been trying to start my father's car with the keys to my car back home. I drove off feeling relieved, embarrassed - and once again, in awe of the genius of that man.






Also a laugh out loud story well told. laugh



 



I've done similar by grabbing the wrong keys (both had just a basic ring) to the same make car. I nearly broke the key off in the steering column trying to turn it. 

TuneWeaver - Posted - 04/21/2020:  14:59:54


The topic could well be changed to "Car Talk".. In the late 70's there was a fad of putting a colorful foam ball on one's car antenna so you could find your car in a large parking lot.. My foam ball was GREEN.. One day after leaving a mall, I looked for the green ball that indicated my car.. I found my car ...no problem , BUT there was something odd about the green ball.. I took a closer look..Someone had swapped the green foam ball for a Green tomato about the same size.. I never forgot that surreal moment..Ya can't make dis stuff up..

Old Scratch - Posted - 04/21/2020:  15:08:58


@ChickenMan Glad I'm not the only one - I feel better now!

bsed - Posted - 04/22/2020:  15:29:34


I've got this friend. And he tells a lot of stories. And then he often says "Ya can't make this stuff up."



I think he does!

bsed - Posted - 04/22/2020:  15:31:40


Sorry. I'm cracking myself up right now.

TuneWeaver - Posted - 04/22/2020:  15:32:05


quote:

Originally posted by bsed

I've got this friend. And he tells a lot of stories. And then he often says "Ya can't make this stuff up."



I think he does!






laugh Rings a bell!!

ChickenMan - Posted - 04/22/2020:  20:15:12


I have a friend who says that too!

TuneWeaver - Posted - 04/23/2020:  04:43:42


Rings another bell!

farmerjones - Posted - 04/23/2020:  05:06:25


That's nothing. I actually just read all the aforementioned!

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